


To Get Back To You

by restlessandordinary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Worship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Little Spoon Shiro, Love Confessions, Loved Shiro, M/M, Nightmares, Non s8 Compliant, Oblivious Shiro (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23070346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/restlessandordinary/pseuds/restlessandordinary
Summary: Shiro realizes his feelings for Keith are more than that of just a best friend, but thinks that Keith deserves better than him and couldn't possibly feel the same way. Keith shows him just how wrong he is.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 96
Collections: Sheithlentines 2020





	To Get Back To You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatScottishShipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatScottishShipper/gifts).



> My sheithlentines gift for @singloom, thank you for this beautiful prompt that I hope I turned into something you will really love.
> 
> Thank you to Janel and Hillary for the constant and steadfast encouragement, and listening to me talk about this fic for the past month. Hillary, your beta skills are priceless, thank you for your time and amazing comments that kept me going.
> 
> Thank you to the mods for putting this event together, and to Robin for accepting my request for extensions with sweetness and grace. Getting back into writing was harder than I thought, but this fic has been so worth it, I'm so happy with it.

The hospital walls are septic white, the lights blinding, the hallways a maze. Shiro walks as fast but as calmly as he can manage. He has to find Keith. He can't show how scared he really is, he's supposed to be the calm one, the composed one.

Everything will be fine, Keith has to be okay. Shiro had never once imagined life without Keith, not since the day he met that scrappy kid and did everything he could to help him succeed. He could never have predicted how big a part of his heart Keith would become. Shiro barely wanted to admit it to himself, but there’s no denying how a part of him feels like it’s dying the longer he’s away from Keith. No denying the way his heart stopped watching Keith's lion plummet to the ground, and how it hasn't started back up yet. He rounds another corner and nearly collides with a group of nurses and doctors heading the opposite direction. Through the buzzing in his ears, Shiro hears an alarm sounding, orders being shouted, as the group of people turns into a room down the hallway. Shiro’s feet are following them before his brain can catch up. It’s not Keith’s room, it can’t be. Keith’s strong. Stronger than Shiro will ever be. Shiro makes it to the doorway just as the heart monitor goes flat — 

And wakes up in a cold sweat.

Shiro throws off his blanket and sits up, focusing on slowing his frantic breathing. He gulps down the glass of water he keeps on the bedside table. He’s been having the same nightmare more nights than not recently. It gets worse the more stressed he is, and work has been terribly stressful lately. But Keith is okay, he had survived and healed and _thrived_ in the aftermath of the war. 

Shiro had dreamt of moving up at the Garrison, having his own command some day. But being an Admiral isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Long, boring meetings, and even later nights, spent hunched over his work desk in a desperate attempt to keep up with the constant paperwork. The only person he even talks with regularly is Keith, and that’s only because Keith is always tracking him down, making him take a break, making him take time for himself.

Shiro wishes he could take care of Keith the way he deserves.

No, he can’t focus on those feelings right now. He pushes himself out of bed and walks the few steps to the bathroom. He stares at his reflection in the mirror as his eyes adjust to the light. He looks tired, and old. His face is more rounded than it used to be, his cheeks fuller, a slight dimple in his chin that wasn’t there before. It has only been a year since the war ended, but to Shiro it seems like a lifetime. He is no longer the man he was then, although the scars still remain—those both physical and mental.

He turns away from the mirror, a grimace marring his face in the moment before the light goes off. He lays back down on the bed with a sigh. Another sleepless night and yet another exhausting day are ahead of him. He’s gotten used to functioning on the bare minimum of sleep, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Shiro rolls over on his side, wrapping his arm around himself as tightly as he can. He closes his eyes, and like every other night the dream wakes him up, his thoughts drifting to Keith. But not the Keith in his dream, lying battered and still on the crisp, white hospital sheets. Shiro thinks of the Keith he knows today, still so resolutely himself but different in so many ways. Stronger. Confident. The true leader Shiro always knew he would be. Keith worked alongside the Blades of Marmora, acting as a liaison on Earth and training new recruits. It was incredible and amusing to watch each and every one of them underestimate Keith the first time they sparred, the shock evident on their faces as they are laid out on the mat only seconds after they start. It was even better to see the respect in their eyes after that, how they would stand a bit straighter every time Keith was around after that.

He pictures Keith in his Blades uniform, the purple playing so well off his dark hair, longer now, up in a messy ponytail more often than not because he can’t even be bothered with a haircut. Shiro chuckles softly to himself, thinking of how frustrated Keith gets when his hair is always in his face, swiping it back every few moments only to have it flop right back down again. Thinking of present day Keith helps soothe Shiro’s lingering worry, and he finally drifts off just before dawn.

* * *

Shiro trudges into his room that evening and sprawls face first on his bed without even bothering to take off his uniform or shoes. He usually takes the time to hang his pants and jacket up right away to prevent wrinkles, but he just can’t muster up the energy today. On top of his usual responsibilities as commanding officer, he had spent the day doing his best to avoid Keith. He wanted nothing more than to see him, to talk to him, but it was too hard now that Shiro had finally admitted his true feelings to himself. Keith is his best friend, but he’s so much more than that. 

Shiro has heard it rumored across the Garrison, it had even been a running joke between the paladins;  _ Keith and Shiro are practically dating _ . Until it wasn't a joke anymore. Until Shiro looked at Keith and could imagine a life with him. Where he wanted to wake up to that smile every morning, and have Keith's calm, measured breathing be the last thing he heard each night.

And that was so selfish of him to want. To want something Keith had made no indication he was interested in. At least not with Shiro. And when it came down to it, Shiro agreed. Keith deserves better than him. He’s so much work, he knows it. The memories, the nightmares, the neediness. His hair, white like he’s some old man. And he  _ feels _ that old some days. He's put on some weight since the war, with no time or inclination to keep up his strict workout routine. He's scarred, damaged, broken. Keith deserves better than him. Shiro was part of Keith’s past, and Keith has a much brighter future waiting for him. Shiro won’t be the one holding him back from it.

Shiro is so deep in his wallowing he almost doesn’t hear the soft knocking on his door. 

“Shiro?” It’s Keith. Because of course it is. Keith has always known him better than he knows himself. He will have noticed that Shiro was avoiding him today. Shiro sits up and drags his hand over his face before standing and opening the door.  Keith is still in his workout clothes, he must have come straight from training without even stopping in his room to change. His hair is a mess and his face is red, like he had run all the way to Shiro’s room.

“Keith.” Shiro musters a smile and hopes it looks convincing. “Come in, sit down, you look exhausted.”

“Not as much as you do, I hope, old timer,” Keith replies, with a quirk of his lips. “Have you been sleeping okay?” The question is not delivered as lightly as the statement before it.

Shiro forces out a chuckle. “Yeah, was up late working last night, that’s all. What brings you over?” He unbuttons the top button of his uniform jacket and sits down on the couch, patting the spot beside him for Keith to join him. Keith sits, eyes continuing to study Shiro’s face. His hands rest on his knees for a moment, before he reaches out and takes one of Shiro’s hands in both of his. Shiro’s eyes go wide and his mouth goes dry.

“Come on, Shiro, I can tell something is up with you. You know you can tell me anything, right?” There’s so much worry in his eyes. Shiro can’t let Keith keep feeling this way, even for his own self-preservation. He takes a deep breath to prepare himself, careful to keep his eyes cast down to the floor. He couldn’t look Keith in the eye for this, couldn’t handle seeing the rejection and pity there. But he has to be honest with Keith, he owes him that much.

“I want better for you Keith, I want the best for you. I always have. And that’s just...not me. You shouldn’t spend so much time with me, not when you could be out there, meeting other people. Better people. Whole people.” Shiro’s view of the floor swims as tears gather in his eyes. His hand shakes in Keith’s, and he tries to pull it away but Keith holds tighter. 

“Takashi Shirogane.” Keith’s words are sharp, they ring out in the small room. “Look at me.” It’s a command but it’s not harsh. It’s brusque but caring underneath, just like Keith. Shiro blinks hard, willing the tears away before he looks up at Keith’s face.

“You are the best person I have ever known. The strongest, bravest, kindest person, even after everything you have been through.” Keith lets go of Shiro’s hand, but only so he can bring both his hands up to cradle Shiro’s face. He wipes a stray tear from Shiro’s check with his thumb.  “Do you have any idea how perfect you are to me? Shiro, I’d follow you to the edge of the universe. As many times as it takes. I meant it when I said that, I will always be here for you. With you. Whatever you need.”

Shiro knows that Keith is not one to lie about anything, if anything he errs on the side of overt honestly, and he knows Keith would never lie about something like this, but he’s still having a hard time believing what he’s hearing. His heart clenches in his chest at the thought of having everything he’s ever wanted. Hadn't even realized he wanted for so long.

“Keith, I —”, Shiro’s throat feels completely closed off. This is his chance, to tell Keith how he feels, and he can’t even get the words out.

“I know.” Keith can see how he’s struggling and swoops in to save him once again. “I love you too, Shiro. I love you so damn much.” The smile on his face when he says it is the most beautiful thing Shiro has ever seen.

Shiro wants to believe, it should be easy, this is _Keith_ after all. The one person Shiro could depend on for anything, the only one who had never given up on him. Keith's words matched his actions, always. But—

"But why?" A simple little question that holds so much behind it. Every doubt and insecurity Shiro has ever had.

Keith's face goes soft.  “How about this? You tell me everything you think I couldn’t love about you, and I will show you how much I do.”

Shiro's eyes go wide. He didn't think there would be an answer to that question. Or that anyone would stick around make sure it's answered. He's not sure what to say, subconsciously running a hand through his hair to stall for time.  


"Your hair?" Keith asks. Shiro hadn't even realized he was messing with it. Keith cups his hand around the back of Shiro's head, stroking the soft hair there. “When I look at this, I think of the power that brought you back to me, that saved you from the astral plane. So that I could touch you again.”

Shiro can barely speak around the lump in his throat. How is this perfect man in love with him? "I'm not who I used to be, m-my body..." He draws his uniform jacket over his stomach, holding his arms there. Keith places a hand on Shiro's arm, but doesn't try to pull it away.

“You are safe, and healthy. _ Here. _ With me. You don't need to work out obsessively to stay ahead of your illness. You don’t need to worry anymore. Take care of yourself and let me take care of you, that's all I've ever wanted, Shiro.”

Shiro nods, choking back the tears he knows are coming. He hadn't realized how worried he was, too fixated on how he used to look to see who he was becoming. But Keith had been watching, and he saw him. Really saw him. Shiro unbuttons the rest of his jacket and sends his metal arm over to its charging station near his bed. He slides the jacket off his other arm and lays it on the couch behind him. Keith sits quietly, patient and happy to let Shiro take this as slowly as he wants. He gives Shiro all the control he knows he needs. Shiro takes a fortifying breath and strips off his undershirt as well, throwing it on top of his jacket, feeling very much on display. He looks up at Keith, but looks away just as quickly, a blush starting high on his cheeks and traveling down his neck.

Keith reaches a hand out slowly, giving Shiro plenty of time to stop him. Shiro doesn't. He keeps his arm down by his side, clutching the edge of the couch cushion. Shiro shivers when Keith's fingers touch his abdomen, then his entire palm is pressed there, solid and warm. Keith brings his other hand forward and runs them softly up Shiro's chest, his right hand continuing up and over Shiro's shoulder and down his arm. He takes hold of Shiro's hand and his left hand gently touches the area where Shiro's prosthetic arm dock meets his skin. It's the worst of the scars he has littering his body, the majority on full display right now. Shiro closes his eyes and swallows, bracing himself for what Keith will say next. He knows this is a lot to take in.

“These are beautiful, just like the rest of you." Shiro's eyes fly open on a soft gasp. Keith's eyes travel all over Shiro's body, adoring and appreciating every inch, every scar and imperfection. Shiro swears he'll never be able to breath again when Keith leans forward and presses the softest kiss to the scarred area just above Shiro's shoulder.

"You were hurt, so many times, but you healed. You kept going. These scars show how amazingly strong you are, Shiro. How hard you fought to make it back to Earth.” Keith murmurs the words against Shiro's skin, pressing kisses to each scar he encounters on his journey. He makes his way across Shiro's chest and down his arm, bringing their entwined hands up to press a kiss to the back of Shiro's hand. 

When Shiro finally finds his voice, it's gruff and thick with emotion. “To make it back to you.”

Keith's looks up, his smile bright but wobbly, like he can't believe what Shiro is saying either. After all this time, they are finally on the same page.

All these kisses were nice, but they aren't where Shiro wants Keith's lips most. He uses their hands to lift Keith's chin, and he sees Keith's eyes flutter closed a moment before his own. Their lips touch and Shiro's swears he sees starbursts behind his eyelids. He pulls away for only a moment, to smile at Keith before leaning back in, this kiss firmer and more intense, an expression of everything they had been holding back from each other. They could both finally let go.

They surface moments later, both laughing and crying in equal measure at how dumb they'd been all this time, but how happy there are in this moment.

"Let's get you to bed, you look like you could sleep for days, big guy," Keith says, standing and pulling Shiro up with him. Shiro doesn't disagree. He feels like he's about to get the best sleep of his life with Keith there beside him.

Shiro manages to stay awake long enough to hear Keith's breathing so steady, each breath tickling the hairs at the back of Shiro's neck. He lays there, drifting off in the tight circle of Keith's arms, and he's never felt so safe and protected. So loved. 

"I love you, Keith," Shiro whispers out into the dark, right before he falls asleep.

He'd have the courage to really tell him in the morning. And for every day for the rest of their lives.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments always appreciated. Come say hi on twitter! @restlessredlion


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